Compliments
My flight was delayed Friday night and I spent my time in the terminal sitting next to a large family who were also flying to Denver. The mom and dad had two boys and a girl. The girl was about the same age as Rian, and the boys were probably around first and third grade. After we had been sitting there for a while, one of the boys asked me what was in my case. I told him that I had several cameras and asked if he wanted to see them? He said “yeah” with an enthusiasm that caught me a little off guard. I opened the case and before I knew it I was surrounded by kids all curious to see what was inside. The mom came over too, no doubt checking to make sure I wasn’t selling drugs or something. The kids immediately saw the Legos and said “what’s that?” I took out my Lego camera and the kids were filled with awe as I explained what it was and how it worked. They were so impressed that they wanted to know where I was sitting on the plane in hopes that they could sit next to me. Their compliments were so sincere that I couldn’t help but feel good about myself.
I am continually amazed by the positive response my Lego camera gets from people. Earlier in the week I had dinner with a photographer friend who was equally intrigued by it. The real compliment was that he also enjoyed the images I made with it. Almost all of the praise I get centers around the camera and not the pictures, so it is really nice to be complimented for my photography for a change. After all, that’s the reason I made it.
This has all got me thinking about compliments and what it takes for a compliment to really make me feel good. I learned a long time ago that when someone gives you a compliment, simply say “Thank you.” This simple piece of advice sounds straight forward, but compliments are actually a pretty complex social interaction. In my observations of people, this seems to be one of the simplest ways to judge someone’s self esteem. People with a low self concept try to dismiss the compliment by saying “are you kidding?” Arrogant people like to expand on the complement to show how awesome they are. I imagine you are somewhere in the middle and just say “thanks,” when you are complimented. But what are you thinking? If you are like me, you probably hesitate to accept the compliment completely. Most likely you scan for sarcasm. You question the person’s motives. You try to judge the person’s sincerity. Once a compliment passes through all our filters, we know how good to feel. You rank the complement based on how much you perceive the person knows about the subject. In other words, if a professional photographer compliments your photography, it means more than if the compliment came from someone who doesn’t own a camera. When a child is impressed, the sincerity is obvious because they can’t suppress their excitement. Some compliments bounce off, and some genuinely lift our spirits. Thanks again to everyone who has complemented me and my Lego camera!
