Accident Aftermath Part 2: Forgiveness
After the car accident I was upset. I wanted to know who did this terrible thing to my family. As I gathered information about the wreck, I wanted to know who I could blame. Every fact I learned became a reason to hate the person who ran the red light. Was it a male or female? What was her race? How old was she? Was she rich or poor? Was the car new or old? Was it an accident? Looking back I realize that no matter what the answer to these questions was, I would have made a judgment based on any answer. As I struggled with these feelings of sexism, racism, ageism, and all the other ugly “isms” that cluttered my brain, I slowly tore down these excuses for hatred. As a realistic view of the situation settled in my mind, I was left with a person, essentially like you or me. My stereotypes and prejudices were just excuses for anger. In order for me to move beyond this event I was forced to answer a heavy question: Could I forgive her?
It took some effort, but I finally made the decision to release the “isms” and forgive this woman unconditionally. Even though I will never meet this person and she may never know that she is forgiven, it was important for me to resolve the event within myself. I wish I could say it has been easy, but it isn’t. Considering how hard it has been to forgive this woman, I can only imagine how hard it would have been if Betsy or Rian had been hurt seriously. That kind of forgiveness would be extremely difficult – but I think it would still be worth it. The peace that comes with letting go of anger feels so good compared to the exhausting pain of hatred. If you have been holding on to some hate, I encourage you to let it go. Forgiveness is hard, but it is worth it.
